You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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