am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
