Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
