bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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