Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
