I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
