Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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