none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
