3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
