Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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