WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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