Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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