Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
