yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
