sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
