yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I need a beard to bite.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
