I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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