O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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