I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
