also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
