I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I won't apologize to a one balled man
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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