and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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