My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
