you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize