ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
