I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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