I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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