I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
