PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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