Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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