at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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