The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
