Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
