just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
