is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
