its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
