if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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