Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
