Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
