Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
