the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
