he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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