Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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