After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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