is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
