direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
