i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I looked at my own cervix.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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