you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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