hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
