one two three fourrrrnication!
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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