Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
