I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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