A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she woke up with a sticky ear
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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