i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
