We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
