Whod you bang
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
