We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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