You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
